Vintage

...my abscense from the scene has created a domino effect.

moogie was here at 1:50 AM .

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body
changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts.
They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest
woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life
does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a
life'.

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on
both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget
what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

moogie was here at 3:27 AM .

Oftentimes I think I should have been like this if I did the right thing, but how would you know if it is the right thing? When in the first place you don’t know what will happen and all you have in hand are the choices and make the best decision with less consequence. That’s why I have to test the water if it is too cold or hot for me before I plunge in; there is no harm in trying as long as you know your limitations and you can handle the situation without messing up with other people.

First of, I grew up with no emotional ties with my folks, all they could think about was how to feed us, send us to school, etc., yet I don’t have any regrets. With what had happened I learned how to stand up on my own at an early age, depending on myself made me realized a lot of things. Up to now, it is very unusual for me to ask for some favors from other people, as long as I could do it I will not ask for help.

Now I am in the unfamiliar situation, I know I asked for this one but it is quite difficult for me to adjust…I am not used to be taken cared of. I went through a lot of hard times and I have managed to settle all these on my own. Yes, I have few friends who had helped me to pick up the pieces and to start all over again but I cannot depend on them for the rest of my days, they have a life of their own.

On the rebound with my family, I landed on the soil of many countries to fulfill my moral obligations. I thought that it would be very easy for me to leave them, most specially my habits and routines. For a stubborn ass like me, it is like passing through the hole of the needle. My so-called-life in non-linear, as much as possible I want it to be spontaneous, I won’t go by the rules if the rules says it will jeopardize my individuality and freedom to explore other things. Life is too short. I cannot see myself to miss the best things in life and most of them are free.

For me boundaries are extension of another dimension that needs to be seen and discover. Not just to see the sights and travel around in a certain place and time but to search for what’s in store for me in a strange land. To gather sticks of pain in the times of drought, to lay down in sublime happiness under the tree of ecstasy, to drench my consciousness with raindrops of sorrow and to shout furiously while running in the field of chaos.

With all these colors of my hallucinations, I am dying to know the depth of these patterns.

moogie was here at 1:50 AM .

whenever i put this long sleeves blouse i always remember how you fold the sleeves and compliment how beautiful it is and how it suits me. the same way i have pictured you in my mind when you are sleeping and i could not waste any single moment watching you. its not raining here not like there, but it reminds me of you particularly when we had these stolen moments. you may not know it but i loved you very well despite of all the odds. with you i experienced to go beyond my limits, i discovered more of myself--being me without inhibitions, being carefree and bold. remember when i sneak out of our house in the wee hours of the morning just to be with you? you have let me see your private world without me asking and i said that that's the boldest thing to do for a stranger like me. and now i realized the things i missed about you...thanks for the awakening.

moogie was here at 1:41 AM .

About the Poem
I have learned that sometimes you fall in love with people, who don't feel the same way about you. I have been in such a situation.

This poem was written for someone who I gave my trust, love and friendship to, only to have my heart broken, and my trust displaced. If you are ever in a similar situation, you know how it feels to be used.

I Was Reminded
by Alicia S

As we lay there quiet
I was reminded of all the reasons why I lust you
Your smile,
and the way it teased at me seductively
Your laugh,
and the way it tempted me
Your eyes,
and the way they seem to hypnotize me

As we sat there silent
I was reminded of all the reasons why I love you
Your smile,
and the way it brings such life into me
Your laugh,
and the way it makes everything okay
Your eyes,
and the way them seems to read my thoughts

As we stand here now
I am reminded of all the reasons why I hate you
Your smile,
and the way it confuses me
Your laugh,
and the way it seems to mock me
Your eyes,
and the way they can look into mine and not feel a thing

moogie was here at 5:33 AM .

for the past several days i have been thinking about going back home, then again maybe i am experiencing "homesickness". this is what i hate most, a sickness that has no cure, in a matter of minutes you will feel like you are alone in the crowd searching for someone or somebody that you know for a long time and you are dying to talk to or touch that person. a feeling of longingness. whenever i met someone here they only say one thing, "your eyes are full of sadness". . .

because, i miss myself more than anything in this world.

moogie was here at 10:05 PM .

this is what my as(s)trology tells me...

You're due to meet someone new, unique and quite rebellious now -- in other words, a kindred spirit. And just as you'd imagine, you won't be running into this person under anything but the most unusual circumstances. Of course, that will make your meeting even more interesting for both of you. Go ahead and cut to the chase as soon as you start talking. The universe obviously wanted you two to meet. Figure out why and get busy on the project.

on the otherhand, i remember that there was this lady who read my future through her cards that i am going to meet with someone and will propose to me. but then again, we'll see. and i will tell you, readers, what the score will be.

moogie was here at 2:05 AM .

Stop punishing yourself for imaginary sins and leave the past where it belongs: behind you. Learn to absorb the lessons you must from any mistakes you've made, but don't heap on the guilt for something that you did out of ignorance or naivete. If you never made any mistakes, you'd never learn. If you never learned, you'd never grow -- and that's absolutely no way to live.

moogie was here at 12:38 PM .

today i started working with the hotel corporate team as a secretary (reliever). the same routine back home except for the routing, photocopying, organized filing as well as the system itself. the boss, who preferred to be called an american rather than his true nationality as a syrian, is quite old to be my father well almost like a grandfather to be exact. he told me during the interview, the shortest that ive had, that he is difficult to work with and he has a bad attitude. i just replied him with my demonic bratty smile, just to say, "we'll see". one of his staff told me that he usually temperamental, sort of a warning for me not to take it personally, i am used to that so i guess there will be no problem.

i will do my best to stay in this job till, so i could save enough money for lasik (my eyes), small business and my studies (i want to finish college). i think three years would be enough.

every year i will look back on this post and check.

moogie was here at 11:36 AM .

Seems like everything fall into their rightful places one at a time…I am so listless today, everyday. My moronic depressive ego’s taking over me—the funny bold bitch, and I can’t control it. Darn what’s happening to me, I’m beginning to eat myself again…I think I’m losing my mind, not used to this feeling and I hated it!!!!

F**… I am TORN!!!

Well, life goes on for a moron bitch like me.

God I hate confusions!!!???

Thanks to manic for yielding on me, I really appreciate it believe me I used it a shield to protect myself from these chaotic emotions. I’ve learned that I couldn’t go on with my life without real and true friends like you bitches, id rather be loveless than “friendless”. I am so weak when I am in love, baby knows about it…I couldn’t see the flaws even if it’s very vivid.

GOOD GRIEF! I am back to my senses again and I am FREE to decide!

Whew!

c”,)

posted by Vulnerable Bitch

moogie was here at 1:07 PM .

(pixie's doing a yodel in the tune of "oops i did it again by britney spears" while dancing waltz)

Gotta to have a more intense jam-packed skeds for the rest of the week and weeks to come…it’s time to reinvent and reborn. The good old bitch that resides in my soul’s cramming up and ready to eat those egoistic essences of the “others”. …..blah, blah, blah

So much for these comic illusions…it’s fun to be with people with different kind of personalities, I kinda like it.

I found myself laughing awhile ago…good thing; there’s no one around to see. Nyaihahahahahahahahha…..hahah…….hhahha…….ha.

Yeah that’s much better to do than to hibernate…there are so many things to bitch and get bitched?!

I AM PROUD TO BE A MORONIC PIXIE BITCH!!!

moogie was here at 1:04 PM .

This time I could probably say that I almost over YOU...there were times that I wanted to assume that YOU have something for me, but its just a wishful thinking...its so pathetic! I am not that persuasive enough to show how much I care for YOU, I don't even have the courage to say how much I love YOU...only in my mind and in my dreams, probably I did once...while sleeping.

anyway, this is for YOU.

TONIGHT I CAN WRITE
poetry of Pablo Neruda, read by Andy Garcia

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, `The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night, whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
posted by Vulnerable Bitch 5:15 PM

moogie was here at 12:50 PM .