Better Things by Fallen Angel

I am told I am destined for Better Things
My kismetSealed with a dry kiss
A drop of blood
And an eyeliner smudge
Whilst I am shattering infinite mirrors
And tramplingangel fetuses.

My locusa circle, in myblind hunt for Better Things
You can't hear my scream through all thiscotton wool
and I can't see for blackness I've saved in the past,
aKnight in Shining Armor
Now I am trapped Armadillo fashion
In this woman shaped cage
They said I looked almost angelic
In my comet tailed
Star studded descent
Idiosyncratic in my lack of indifference
Diving for oystersHolding Better Things

Now sitting in deaf icy stillness
Hand nearly frozen pen-shaped
Mind unable to carry these
Poetic abortions to full term
In order to cleanse itself
For the wait for Better Things

bottled tears

last night i cried alone in my room, i tried to say something but i was tongue-tied. i look at the mirror there i saw myself, my eyes almost red, full of tears. i wanted to scream my lungs out to tell the whole world that my heart is breaking, then again i couldn't. i sat down on my bed, stopped for a while, talking to myself like a fool--it was a good relief. I turned the radio on put the volume on high so i could not hear my own voice, and there was i sitting on the floor, grabbed my pillow, put my face down and cried and cried and cried till i could cry no more. wiping my tears away from my cheeks, said to myself that tomorrow's another day, a big day to start anew.

i realized maybe i was just too sensitive with a lot of things that i was caught red-handed. like what they say, you must expect the unexpected. its not the first time i cried-a-river, but this is somewhat different...because she doesn't know that i felt something for her for years. i would like to tell her about it but then again for the sake of our friendship...i would just rather keep it and
let it be.

Confessions Of A Broken Heart by John Laset

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forgetTo eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside,
swirling, twirling,unwilling to reside
in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

sometimes i call her...JESSICA.

Frantic
The presence of your soul haunts me
As you glide through the air
Deeply penetrating into the pores of my skin
Seeking uncontrollably the passage
To my heart, to my mind.
You are a villain, striking unguarded moment
Stabbing the frozen heart with fiery caress
The more I ignore these sensitive moves
The more vulnerable I become.
Interference means death
As I drown quickly at the vast sea of solitude,
Yet the stillness of you is unknown to me.
While I am descending in a chaotic stream.
10.18.02

In deep thoughts
Disquietude devours my essence,
As I dwell into the oblivion of an
Infinite outrage of this so-called life
Of which I am not certain.
Spare me not, for I shall return
To the abyss of my inner self
Than to cling on a rotten thoughts
That once I abhorred.
I would rather subsist to a place
Where I could scream furiously
As it echoes into a depth
…Of boundless silence.
10.22.02

Adieu
I'd rather walk away with grief
than to be with you,
floating in space
holding nothing but memories
of the undying affection
that has been carved from within.
Uncertainty binds me
with your presence which
slowly tearing my soul into pieces,
Shattered feelings strengthened
the seat of passion yet struggling
unconsciously to remain unruffled.
July 2001

sigh...

I want to wake up next to someone I love that at night I might just awaken enough to just caress or hold. I want someone that when we are together I can tell all my thoughts to, whether good or bad. To laugh and cry, make love or just make out to make a life together that inter-twines and support each other.
I think that these things are impossible without mutual respect, and of course love.
I want to love in the way that makes you ache when you are apart touch just to say
"I want you".

Having some common goals and ideas, to be just happy and laugh, be able to talk about more than just the weather. A great intellect is definitely a good thing. Not Einstein, but a curious and agile mind.
Through all this, devotion.

The ability to work for each other and the relationship for a long time.
Not just for a month or a year, but with the intent to at least try to make it a lifetime.